Shut Up Jobbles

Bunch of stuff before and after but this is all I remember. There was this like, climbing frame/jungle gym that passed over a stream. And I was climbing from one end to another on one side of the stream and it was like a gallery of cats as I made my way across because each new section/nook/cranny had cats in. Also Cheng was holding on to my back for some reason, which oddly didn’t make climbing across any harder, but by the end I think he’d become cats.

Also, after I think, I went to an indoor frisbee game, and I had to change from jeans to shorts and trainers to boots, but the other team started playing too quickly and then bragged about points despite me clearly not being ready. I remember there specifically being one bitch in particular but I can’t picture her face. Also there were like 20 people per team. One time Ethan through a dump pass to me, and I went to hammer it and it didn’t go anywhere because I couldn’t generate power in the flick. I think I could catch in the dream but I couldn’t throw.

Basically, I was walking up and down a path and a white fox and two white fox cubs came out of the bushes and played for a bit, then I went into like a convenience or drug store with my mom but she kept picking stuff that was blatantly to big for our bag which was more like a large piece of dark blue/purple cloth really, after/during which I think it started getting robbed and I stopped it somehow. Then I continued walking and was nearly back to what I registered as University, though it was a building I didn’t recognise, and saw a cat just walking around with a massive backpack and then it started fighting/playing with another cat so I walked over and then I thought ‘Man I bet this cat is being used as a drug mule’ and sure enough I looked over and there was some middle-aged guy with a bushy mustache, who looked a little like that crazy basketball coach who looked like he was going to hit a ref from behind but doesnt, looking at me so I walked away from the cats with my hands up to show that I didn’t take anything and then he gave me a small baggy with three nuggets of weed in them but I couldn’t figure out if he was giving me them as a good will gesture or if he was trying to sell me them because he seemed really drunk/high and he seemed really worried/agitated in that drunken sort of way so I just hugged him to let him know things were alright and he was grateful. Oh and all of this was at night.

For all of Dead Space 3’s predictability and lack of “horror” it just managed to legitimately go AAAAHFUCK.

whatshouldultimatecallme:

AKA Trying to catch a disc after you’ve started fumbling it.

• If theres a dude in front of you, theres a dude behind you.
• Doorways that open onto the middle of a corridor so that you can’t safely look both left and right are the worst thing ever.
• People are stupid.
• When swarmed immediately forget abilities such as kinesis and stasis, and instead opt to wildly fire all weapons until ammo is exhausted.
• When ammo is exhausted, don’t reload - uselessly flail instead.
• Seriously, fuck the Ishimura.
• For that matter, fuck space.
• Become an engineer.
• Fear open spaces that have a save point right before their entrance.
• Zero G becomes not cool when you realise dudes can noiselessly come from any direction, and you’ve forgotten which way is up.
• Just because you safely reached the end of a corridor, does not mean that same corridor will be clear of dudes the second you turn around. In fact, dudes are practically guaranteed in that event.
• ACTUAL TIP: Some corridors/rooms have lights set up that essentially blind you. You can pick these up and turn them around, illuminating the rest of corridor/room.
• (Fucking Stross! Slim chances but I hope Ellie at least survives til the end.)
• (Erm. Wasn’t I supposed to keep Stross alive? Oh well, I suppose thats why theres a dead space 3.)
• Never look at items/wall cabinets/lockers as you use them, keep your gun trained on the open space.
• (I swear to God, if Ellie’s gunship/escape pod gets shot down I will flip my shit.)
• (HOLY FUCK THE MARKER IS HUGE)

Right so I was in an Minecraft Lets Play with Ray, Geoff and Jack, except we weren’t playing it so much as we were actually in it, despite never actually seeing their faces, and we had to find the Tower of Pimps pieces and Geoff kept saying one was near a river shaped like a load of dicks and me and Ray we like “Nope, can’t see it.” when we could, and then I started getting loads of lag and was all pissy as I was the only one that hadn’t gotten a piece because the lag meant others got them first and I got so agitated the police ended up tazering me and I was like “I’ve never gotten that worked up before, could you guys check me into a hospital.” and then I was in bed/asleep in a mix of my bedroom and home and my dorm room and in a half awake state (in the dream) fucking Tracy Morgan was sitting on the end of my bed talking to me (And that is super fucking weird because I’ve only seen him from about 3 clips of 30 Rock on Youtube and had to google for his name after I woke up.) and he was like semi-transparent so I was assumed that I was having a dream (within the dream) but I kept talking outloud to him and it was super fucking funny but I touched his head and he felt real in a ‘wow my dreams feel super real’ sort of way and then a nurse came in whilst I pretended to be asleep and he had disappeared and a little while after she left the same thing happened but with fucking Winnie the Pooh, except he didn’t have his personality (and as the dream was ending, my real dream he took on the shape of a random cuddly toy) and after a while the nurse came back in and he kept moving and I gasped and she was like “I knew they were real.” and then she left and me and the toy/dream/ghost thing talked some more and as the dream was wrapping up I said “I guess no toy is inherently bad…” (in terms of their personality) “…apart from maybe a toy of Hitler.” and I couldn’t finish my sentence due to laughing as I was going to finish with “a toy of Hitler fisting a kid.” like wow oh my God, and then me and the Winnie the Pooh that was no longer Winnie the Pooh but almost like a toy cuddly centipede went to sleep and then I woke up in real.

whatshouldultimatecallme:

(Submission: Waz)